Down in the Dumps

You should know by now that I write when I'm down. All of these are one of those times.

I’ve lost the grip of my past, of what things used to be.
I’m losing sight of my future; I’ve given up on dreams.
I’m waiting for a man that doesn’t exist.
I’m striving to be loved in a way that no one will.
I’m earning a degree that will leave me financially unstable.
I desire things that deteriorate quickly.
I try to fill myself with confidence that fades with a mirror.
I criticize people while the plank sits in my own eye.
I cling to a religion that my life does not represent.
I fight myself everyday to lose the battle continually.
What have I become?



I would destroy the moon, vacuum the atmosphere, dry up the oceans, burn the forests, and annihilate the human race for one man to love me. I’d be willing to drop everything and leave everything for a man to honestly believe that I’m beautiful. I would spend the rest of my life rotting in a jail cell for a man to desire my heart. I want to be loved, but no one wants to love me. Without a man to love me, my children cease to ever be able to exist; my studies are meaningless; my childhood, wasted; my future, grim. It’s over.



I was murdered a year ago
And you forgot that I was ever here.
What am I supposed to do when you say ‘no’?
You called yourself names, but none were true.

I’m not the person I was when you cared.
Hard times have changed me.
You let me go and didn’t come back.
Your luck ran out and now I’m gone for good.




I’m waiting for you, but I’m starting to wonder if you even exist.
I’m killing myself with these love songs, thinking I’ll never have that.
I don’t want a boy, I want a man.
I want to be loved, desired, wanted.
But you don’t exist.
I am not anything for anyone.
I’m sorry its come to this, but I’m letting my imagination go.
You’re free from my memory now
And I’m embracing the lonely life.