The Walk

I had started on the sidewalk
Until suddenly it came to an end
I had reached the hard part of town
And now I was on the grass

I continued on the grass
Until I came to the edge of the water
It seemed calm and I could swim
So I took a step and continued.

I swam for miles, as tired as I was
Until the waters picked up pace
And I could barely stay afloat
So I treaded even harder.

I almost drowned countless times
Until I saw him walk up to me
It seemed to be a miracle
As he reached down for my hand

He pulled me up out of the water
Until I was standing on the waves
He begged for me to trust him
And together we walked across the water

We’re waiting to reach the shore
We’ve been walking on this water long enough.
I’ve learned to trust him completely
I’ve learned to walk on the water.

Too Many Times

She’s been called ugly and fat too many times.
Call her beautiful once and you’ve won her heart.
Say it again and you’ve won all of her.
The pain she’s been caused has broken her guard.
She’d give into anyone who seems to love her.
She’d give into anyone who will tell her such things.
She just wants to feel important.
She wants to feel like she actually is something special.
When she looks in the mirror, nothing is right.
Her greatest talent is comparing.
One pretty girt makes her feel hideous.
Put her in a crowd of beautiful girls and she’s broken.
She’s been called ugly and fat too many times
Especially to herself.

Caught

I’m caught between a rock and a hard spot and I have to sever myself to get out.
I can’t come out of this like I did before and without hurting others.
I’ll never be the same, something’s got to go, a part of me will be lost.
I’ve been pinned for months now; do I even attempt to get out?

I’m caught between a rock and a hard spot and I don’t want to get out.
I’m loving the uncertainty; pinned under this boulder, where is the rain?
I may be bleeding out, I may be permanently hurt, but that’s okay.

I’ve got people pinned with me, this rock is on all of us.
We’ve all fallen under the spell of the unknown love: risk.
We’ll wait for the rain and the sunshine, too.

As long as I’m pinned, I’m grounded in something.
I’m stable, I’m unshakable, I’m alive.

18 years old - speeding on 61

I posted something last month called "16 years old - speeding on 61" that I wrote 2 years ago. Driving home the other day, I looked at my speedometer and this is what ran through my head.

18 years old - speeding on 61

Pushing 100 on a 45.
Yup, I'm one of those people who needs to be pulled over
Can't control my speed or actions.
Yes, I’m a different person now, unnoticeable actually.
Can't seem to recognize my own reflection staring back at me.
Have to look to risks to keep me on edge.
Sure, all this isn’t that bad.
Kind of like a friend you've always been told to hate, but suddenly started to love.
Being this way is making me a hell of a lot happier anyways.
So, I don’t care ‘cause I’m happy and that should be enough.
So how 'bout we all go 100 and laugh along the way?

Facing the Inevitable

I know it was inevitable. I mean, it was bound to happen as long as I stayed alive. I’m another year older. I was excited, I really was. Don’t get me wrong, I still am, but it’s kind of shocking and weird that I feel as if I’m watching one of those old-fashioned, rolled films. I’m watching my childhood pass by me and now it’s gone. I’m not so sure that I’m ready for this. These past few months I’ve done things that have made that completely official. I’ve made decisions that, although they’ve been fun and exciting, they make my childhood disappear. I miss the days of fighting over Barbies with Hope, getting used as Trey’s human surf board in the pool, or bickering with Ashley over how she always plays “mom”. No more silly crushes or fighting over the swing set. I long for those car rides to school with my mom and the long hours with my dad in his office at the church. I just want to back up for a little while to when a box was my castle and the cat was my prince. They’re over.

But now I’m making new memories and these ones, they’ll last longer.